The God Who Laughs

Last night as I was in the midst of taking care of medical needs that my daughter requires, I had a brief moment to reflect over the past few days. It’s been one of those those times where it just seems like everything is either wrong or bad or crazy. A time when you realize that there are no good choices, only less-bad choices. Things that happen beyond our control that affects us nonetheless. Things seemingly within our control that inexplicably and frustratingly slip from our grasp. Had I the ability, in that moment, to wave a magic wand and make things right I would have. In only a few moments of reflecting on the hard things and the bad things and the crazy things, I was immediately assaulted with the question, Why? Why God does my daughter’s body not work and we have to go through this crap every day? Why are there things and people outside of my control that rain down hatred and crazy on my life and the life of my family? Why can’t I just, for once, not be mindlessly calloused when my wife is in need of care and comfort? Why does everything have to be so hard?

It was a brief moment. I really didn't even think through that much detail. It all just kind of hit me at once all blended in together, just an overwhelming feeling of “Why?” And almost as soon as I had mentally voiced my complaint to God I received an answer. The answer was, “Because of the curse.” The answer was just so plain and obvious and so satisfying. Within half a second my entire disposition was readjusted. Why is the sin of others affecting me and my family? Because of the curse. Why does sin so pervade within me that I don’t realize I've sinned until the damage is already done? Because of the curse. Why does my daughter have this disability? Because of the curse. Why are plans and people so easily frustrated? Because of the curse. Why does everything just have to be so hard? Because of the curse.

The puzzle pieces fit and I could make sense of things again. A feeling of relief came over me. The question ‘Why?’ didn't have the overwhelming force and influence over my soul that it once grasped. I realized I my complaint, which felt justified at the moment I said it, was on unsettled ground. Unbelief crept in, disguised as self-pity. The answer I received, “Because of the curse”, gave me solid ground to stand on. I can battle my unbelief from this position.

And then I realized that I had actually heard a voice. The answer “Because of the curse” didn't arise within my soul like an echo from the Holy Spirit, it was literally audible to my ears. I heard it. Writing all of this out now as a step by step process really gives a false impression. All of this—the thoughts, the complaint, the answer, the satisfaction, the readjustment, the strange realization of an audible voice answering the inaudible question of my soul—took place in nearly an instant.

The audible voice I heard did not come from a burning bush. There wasn't an angel dressed in white seated before me. The heavens didn't open. No thunder from the sky. It came from the other room. It wasn't my wife or kids. It was the TV. The kids were watching a show. I sat and listened for a moment. What were they watching? After a few seconds I realized it was Scooby-Doo. Someone had said, “Because of the curse” in reference to some mystery that needed solved. It hit me. Did my soul just receive a satisfying cleanse from a goofy cartoon show about some stoner kid detectives and their dog? Zoinks. They say that God moves in mysterious ways. Apparently He also moves in hilarious ways.

I’m not going to frame this as, “God spoke to me through Scooby-Doo,” even though I might. I certainly believe in the providence of God. I have no qualms believing He is able to answer prayer with a dose of truth, no matter the source of that truth. I don’t believe that God embodied the TV in some supernatural way and spoke through a cartoon character. But I do believe that all truth points to God whether it means to or not. If God so ordained it that Scooby-Doo would be the instrument of answered prayer than who am I to scoff? Just as John Newton believed every interruption was from the Lord, I’ll take it that this perfectly timed line from a cartoon was an act of the providence of God. I cannot deny that in those moments God was at work in my soul, freeing me from fear and unbelief and strengthening me with truth.

I said that apparently God moves in hilarious ways. And why not? Our common idea of God is that He is not funny. He’s grim and somber and looks down on those who laugh. It’s a topic we’re uncomfortable with. For many it seems sacrilegious to claim that God has a sense of humor. I've never seen a conference on The Humor of God. But humor and laughter are good things, holy things. And like all good things and all holy things, they can be abused. Laughter strengthens and emboldens, which is why there are warnings against cruel humor. God does not want us to be strengthened and emboldened in evil things. But the abuse of laughter does not mean we should abolish laughter. Humor is holy because it is from God. Because we desecrate holy things doesn't mean that it originated from the devil. Perversion is from the devil. Humor is from God. Perverted humor is a desecration of a holy thing.

God is an expert at making the wise foolish and the foolish wise. How can humor not be an instrument in bringing this about? It is a holy making-fun-of. Using the foolish things of this world to shame those who are wise in this world is a righteous punchline. He made a donkey speak to and scold a prophet. He made Balaam the bigger of the two jackasses. How can the inventor of time not also be the inventor of comedic timing?

I get the feeling the reason we don’t like to think of God as humorous is because it is too terrifying. The God with the grim furrowed brows has the weight of the world on his shoulders. He is concerned for His Creation in the same way we are concerned over our finances. The God who Laughs has nothing to worry about. He’s carefree. The God who giggles, snickers, chortles, and guffaws exposes our precarious state. We want a God who is distraught over our situation because it validates our worth in our own eyes. We have convinced ourselves that if God worries about what I worry about then that means God cares about me. But what happens if I’m worrying about my sin and bills and pain and ridicule and disease and death and God is laughing!? We get the impression that God doesn’t care.

Jesus and his disciples were on the sea and a major storm blew in. The boat was being swamped by the waves. The disciples were freaking out. They thought they were going to die. They turned to find Jesus and Jesus was…sleeping!? Are you kidding me? Hey Jesus, wake up and do something about this! Don’t you care that we are about to drown here? Mark tells us that they literally said, “Do you not care that we are perishing?” They didn't see Jesus fretting like they were and it really bothered them. Jesus sleeping in the boat shook their souls harder than the waves shook the boat. Their panic stricken plea to Jesus revealed exactly where their faith resided. They wanted similar panic from their Lord to validate their fear, which is tied to their worth. He doesn't care about us enough to even wake up and worry like we are worrying! When they woke Jesus up, he rebuked the wind and waves, but also his disciples. “Why are you afraid, O you of little faith?”

This is why we are so unnerved at the thought of the God who Laughs. This is why it is hard for us to understand that humor is holy and sanctioned by God. Our faith is exposed and is found wanting. Jesus asked the disciples “why are you afraid?” not because He was unable to conceive why the experience of nearly drowning might be frightening, but he asked to expose their faith. He is telling them, “My sleeping in the midst of a storm ought to be a comfort to you.”  Jesus sleeping in the midst of the storm didn't give them peace. They didn't find rest in the Creator’s resting. In the same way, if God is laughing in the midst of our chaos and we react in rage or we become irritated, we are exposing our own lack of faith. God laughing in the middle of your storm, your pain, your hardship isn't a sign of unconcern or malice. He’s not laughing at you, He’s laughing for you. Rest in His laughter. Find strength in His humor. Hope is beaming from the upturned corners of his lips. What if one of the distraught disciples turned to see Jesus sleeping and in faith found the strength and hope to just lay down next to him? Just as Jesus’ sleeping should have comforted the disciples, the humor of God should comfort you. Your pain and your struggles and your hardship are nothing compared to the hope we have of eternal glory in the presence of God.

As I thought about it, the fact that God provided great strength and assurance and guidance and truth in response to my prayer at just the right moment in a line from Scooby-Doo, I couldn't help but release a breath of laughter through my nose. Contemplating the humor of God in this situation gave me greater faith and hope and a deeper realization that God’s humor and laughter indicates that He has triumphed over the curse. God laughs because the world will one day be remade, because the curse will one day be fully broken, because all my sin will be cleansed, because justice will not be overlooked, because all pain and struggle and hardship will pass away, and because my daughter’s body will one day be made whole.

Stepping Down and Moving On in Faith

Nearly every Sunday for the past four and a half years, we’d wake the kids up early, throw breakfast down their throats, and wrestle them in their clothes that we (my wife) set out the night before. It was an art form really. A streamlined chaos. And nearly every Sunday for the past four and a half years we would make the drive 45 minutes into the city. The landscape changed as we travelled, from crops and cattle and horses, to car dealerships and industrial buildings and upscale coffee shops. And nearly every Sunday for the past four and a half years we would begin our trek to church with a prayer. For our travel, for the worship service, for the leaders and teachers. And nearly every Sunday for the past four and a half years we would pray that God would help our unbelief, that he would increase our faith, that he would cause us to greatly depend on him and to trust in him continually.

God has been good to me and my family. He has kept us safe in our travels to and from church. He has blessed our church’s worship and teaching. And he has increased our faith. And God continues to answer prayer as he had revealed to us in increasing measure that the time was coming to step down from serving at Wornall Road Baptist Church. And, in his timing, God has closed that chapter in our lives. Yesterday was my last Sunday serving as Worship Pastor for Wornall Road Baptist Church.

The decision was hard and easy at the same time. It was hard for two reasons. The first was regarding discernment, battling a deceitful heart ever looking to increase my pride, my status, my glory, and praying that decisions would be made from faith and not from vanity. God, in his mercy and grace, provided a dear friend who helped me clarify these things which gave me a greater boldness to act in faith.

The second reason why the decision was hard was simply because of the love we have for the people at Wornall Road Baptist Church. There are real and genuine friendships founded in the blood of Christ. To leave, to not regularly be in a week-in week-out relationship with these friends, would be hard. But despite the pain, because these relationships are founded in the blood of Christ, we know that they cannot be sundered. Different and changed a bit on this temporal plain, yes, but not separated, not destroyed. We knew that to stay, to disobey, for the sake of friendships would only result in disaster. “Whoever finds his life will lose it, and whoever loses his life for my sake will find it.” To be obedient and follow God in faith, and to still retain these amazing friendships, is a grace beyond measure to us!

I tasted that pain yesterday. I felt it in my heart and soul. If it’s true that the eyes are the windows to the soul then I saw some sad souls. My heart beats, even now, a blue rhythm for them. Yesterday evening God allowed us to spend time with our Gospel Community Group, our church’s version of small groups, and the pain was felt deepest here. But the pain is a good pain because it is evidence of deep roots. They prayed for us and God continued to humble me with their words of encouragement. It was the most fitting ending to a day of goodbyes. (Praise God that they are only temporary goodbyes!)

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Below is an edited letter that I sent to the elders that I pray gives a little insight into some of the factors at play when I decided to step down.

My Dear Brothers,

It is a comfort knowing that Christ is Lord over all and that God's sovereign hand touches everything. When I came to Wornall in the fall of 2008 it was in response to a help wanted ad I found on Midwestern's site about 6 pages in. The ad said help was needed with music ministry until about the summer of 2009. 

When I walked in to meet with John Mark and Kumar I saw the architecture and almost immediately assumed I wouldn't fit. Obviously I was dead wrong. Nearly the moment John Mark, Kumar, and I began to talk I was almost taken aback at how easy and right it felt. We clicked instantly. After I was on board for a while we joined up with Ryan and April's pre-Gospel Community, Gospel Community Group. I don't think I've expressed the deep gratitude for the love and the healing that God granted to us through the group through Ryan and April and Brian and Sarah and everyone else. That more than anything else, the almost immediate closeness and genuine feel of Christian brotherhood, was an indication to us that God had planned this for our good and his glory.

And then, only a handful of months after we arrived, we miscarried our twins. Again, God used Wornall to pour out love and grace on us. The following year is difficult to express how hard things were and at the same time how blessed we were. Arwen was born. We knew of her disability before she was born and it was the love outpoured and a heaping healthy dose of the truth of God's sovereignty preached from the pulpit at Wornall that sustained us in faith. Literally.

And so we grew, or rather God grew us, and God grew me in and with the congregation and under John Mark, in numerous ways, spirituality, theologically, musically, and an ever deepening love and knowledge of the gospel. And then to be a part of a team of leaders who are passionate for the gospel and a love for the church has only increased that growth in an exponential way. My love for you and for the church is deep, and in a real way eternal, for love in and through Christ is never transitory.

And so brothers, it pierces my heart—in a good way, a holy pain—when I say that my time at Wornall Road Baptist Church has come to an end. Over the last 6 months or so, I believe God has been preparing me for this. Many factors are at play, and I praise God with the greatest rejoicing that none of these factors involve sin or scandal. Many small things make the whole, and for me and my family, these things include; the time I’m able/unable to commit, the distance we travel, the increased care for my children, a real and weighty sense of a need to examine my calling in the ministry and what that looks like. There are other small reasons of the same sort, but these are in the main. And because of these things, not only do I think God is leading me to this decision for the good of myself and my family, but also for the good of Wornall Road.

This does not mean, whatsoever, that we desire to end any relationship! We love all of you and want to remain in a deep, loving, albeit now different, Christian friendships. We still want to do dinners! We still want to have our kids play together whenever possible. We will still be praying and rooting for Wornall Road.

As we make this transition we are stepping out in faith. I have no real foresight as to what lies ahead. What church we’ll go to, what ministry I’ll be involved in, etc. So I ask for your prayers in that.

I love you guys, I have been honored and privileged and count it among the highest blessings that God has allowed me to serve at Wornall Road and alongside all of you. May God richly bless His people at Wornall Road.

Through Christ, with the deepest love and affection,

Your brother,

Rich Tuttle

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We got home late last night and put the anxious dog outside and the kids to bed. The house was quiet and the feeling of my soul is hard to describe. It felt like it had been just washed with a spring rain. That after-rain smell. That’s the feeling. A type of mournful rejoicing. I’m still a bit hung-over with it today. I went out to get the dog in the cool night, which afforded me the opportunity to look at the bright stars shining through the flimsy clouds and to take a breath and recall the day and the past four and a half years. God is good.

Me and John Mark (My pastor, my brother, my friend)



Me and Ernesto (My right-hand man! I've never seen a more gifted and humble musician)




The last rehearsal. Sad and sweet.



Dead Air: Making the Most of the Inevitable Silence

As I pour over magazines, articles, and books for advice in leading worship, one thing I constantly run into is the subject of what to do in between songs. It is a common topic for discussion amongst song leaders as this must be dealt with every Sunday. There are all sorts of ideas that I have read about but each one boils down to one thing, and that is this; Do something! Do anything! But make sure there is no dead air!

There are countless reasons behind this, and many of them are even good reasons:

Silence is awkward.

If there is no ‘flow’ then dead air leaves a ‘stop/start’ feeling to worship.

People will become quickly bored.

A lack of smooth transition indicates a lack of excellence and God deserves our best.

But for the most part, the reasoning can be pretty much summed up like this: If there is silence in between songs then people are uncomfortable and therefore distracted and unable to worship.

Fill It In!

So the worship ‘experts’ then offer us ways to fill in this ‘dead air’ (which is just a code word that places a negative spin on the word ‘silence’). From my reading the most preferred method seems to be transitioning one song to the next without a pause in the music. When done right, this can be very smooth and pleasing to the ear. It also allows the leader to connect one theme with another quite seamlessly. I utilize this when I feel it is necessary, but it becomes impractical in many situations. Every Sunday just cannot be a five song medley.

So the next best ‘method’ is to fill the silence in with talking. This can be done in a variety of ways. Two of the better ways are Scripture readings and prayer. But most often, from what I’ve personally seen and read (and unfortunately, done myself) is spontaneous chatter. Some have called this ‘The Mini Sermon’, others have called it ‘Worship Cheerleading’ but most call it ‘Annoying.’

Fill It In?

The problem I have here is not the desire to have a smooth transition. I find nothing wrong with Scripture being read in between songs. But what bugs me is that these ‘fillers’ become nothing more than a ‘solution’ to silence. Instead of a 15 second pause between one song and the next, the popular advice is to ‘fill’ it with something. Eradicate and exterminate all forms of silence because, I am told, it makes people uncomfortable, distracted, and it hinders worship. Well I’m here to say it’s not true.

I’ve bought into this type of thinking for too long. Many times I have found myself standing awkwardly on stage in between songs, looking slightly fidgety awaiting the introduction of the next song. I’m sure my presence didn’t help the congregation feel any less awkward. But my thinking was always aiming to end the silence. And awkward silence, as I have found, will make a talker out of a mute. And talking simply to fill in the silence leads to unnecessary rambling and idiotic phrasings that edify and glorify no one. Well, I’m done with that. As I strive to increase my understanding of sound doxology I just cannot continue to participate in this game. Silence is inevitable and I aim to make much of Christ through it. I believe that the benefits of silence in between our songs can far outweigh our feeble efforts to fill it. I also believe that these benefits can prevail over the common concerns of awkwardness, distractions, and the inability to worship.

The Benefits of Silence in Worship

The first benefit is Authenticity. What is more fake than conjured spontaneity? As I pointed out above, in my experience, it just comes off as awkward. There are appropriate times for leaders to talk in between songs, but in between every song is unnecessary. If the Spirit is moving, I'm sure He can move just fine without me talking compared to whenever I open my sin filled mouth. If there are a few moments of silence while the musicians to end one song and start the next then so what? If it takes a couple seconds to turn the page to prepare for the next song, big deal! Is it less excellent to pause for a few moments rather than to play seven songs without stopping? Why should our music at church imitate a concert or a radio station? Imitation is the antithesis of authenticity! Authenticity through silence can serve as another reminder to us and our people that we are not professionals and we don’t aspire to be. That doesn’t mean we fail to plan or rehearse, but it means we make the most of the inevitable silence to come and not try to shoehorn in our often unnecessary noise.

A second benefit silence provides is Reflection; a time to think and a time for prayer. How many times do we as ministers provide opportunities in the worship service for the congregation to meditate and reflect on what they have just heard or sung? If you sing one song after another, without a break, and then seamlessly start the sermon, the congregation has never had time to ponder what they just sang. Many times the few brief moments of silence between each song might be the only silence available for the church to reflect. Mark Dever’s church has embraced the silent times in their service. He says, “We LIKE "dead air space." "Dead air space" gives us time to reflect. To collect our thoughts. To consider what we've just heard or read or sung. The silence amplifies the words or music we've just heard. It allows us time to take it all in, and to pray.” (Read Dever's full post here)

With that in mind, ‘dead air’ is also an opportunity for Participation. Instead of doing something to break the silence, do your best to participate in that silence. Dever continues, “Everyone works to be quiet. People stop moving their bulletins or looking for something in their purse. There's no movement. We, together, hear the silence. It engulfs us. It enhances our unity. It is something we all do together. Together we consider what we've just heard. Together we contribute to each other's space to think.” Active participation in silence actively works to get rid of distractions. Which makes me wonder when people say that silence itself is a distraction!

Lastly, another benefit of silence, and I believe the most important, is Worship. In fact, any benefit derived from this silent time should culminate in worship. Everyone talks about Psalm 46:10, “Be still, and know that I am God,” but that’s exactly just what everyone does, talk. Rarely do we see this put into practice. The silence between one song and another is a perfect time to obey this command. In light of this passage it is quite telling to me when the ‘experts’ say that ‘dead air’ hinders worship. What that tells me is that either their understanding of worship is skewed or that they don’t understand what worship really is. If not, then they should really consider the logical outcome of their claims. To make the claim that ‘dead air’ causes people to not worship God is evidence that our faith resides in our methodologies rather than the Creator of silence. It is also a sign to me that many believe worship to be a product that can be manufactured or manipulated to produce an anticipated outcome, which is often called the ‘worship experience’. Many times this is based solely on feelings and nothing else.

One thing to be aware of is that just because silence takes place doesn’t mean that worship takes place. We need to train our people (and ourselves!) in the discipline of silence. And the best way I know how to train is to teach it and practice it. Instead of just expecting the congregation to ‘get it’, take a couple minutes and explain how the church can make the most of the silent times during worship. Explain how worship is not like any other venue in our culture and how silence can enhance reflection. Encourage participation. Take time to worship God when the opportunity of silence presents itself during the week. Even if it is for a few moments.

So instead of constantly trying to fill in the silence, make the most of it when it comes our way! And, most importantly, continue to measure everything we do in our worship services with Scripture to ensure sound doxology. Even the little things like the silence between our songs.

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Update 3-26-10: Bob Kauflin at Worship Matters has posted a three-part series called "What Do You Say When You Lead Worship?" He provides some humor as well as great advice.
Part 1
Part 2
Part 3