Friday, February 4, 2011

The Twistgum Letters: Ignorant Subversion of the Enemy’s Will

The following is the second of a series of letters written by Arch-demon Twistgum to his nephew Baleswarm. How these letters were obtained is unknown, however it is obvious that they were not intended to be read by human eyes. From the letters we can deduce that Baleswarm has been assigned to tempt, hinder and ruin a Worship Leader, a subject matter in which his Uncle Twistgum has many years of demonic experience.

Dear Baleswarm,

Regarding your man’s soul—this cannot be helped. He is held firm and fast in the clutches of the Enemy, never to be released. The goal therefore, is not to tempt him to ‘switch sides’ but rather push and prod him in such a way that he unwittingly undermines his Master. Get your Subject to mistake his will for his Master’s will. Once he supposes his own efforts and reasons are ‘righteous’ then we have him, for no topic or issue will be too inconsequential. Every molehill will be a mountain. If you can muddle his mind about whether it is ‘right’ or not to sing ‘this or that’ or if it is appropriate to play a certain instrument or any other matter of insignificance then your Subject will be well on his way to achieving our objective.

The best way to accomplish such marvelous devilry is to cut off all of his communication with his Commander. As you have no doubt learned at Minion Academy, Our Father Below is adamant about this. Aim your sights at the clearest channels; Prayer and the Book (that blasted indestructible Book). This will greatly increase your ability to influence your Subject to make decisions according to his own “wisdom”.

Regarding Prayer, it is the way in which our shrewd Foe has ‘opened the lines’ allowing his servants complete and free access into his very presence. Disrupt that communication. Dish out problems that he feels he can handle on his own, in his own power. For a time this will give him a tower of confidence but we know that this tower will soon fall and if the lines of communication have been successfully disrupted then your Subject has no where else to turn for help other than himself, which is for our ends quite satisfactory. It is good news indeed to hear that your Subject often falters in this area. Exploit it. Throw Guilt against him and fasten it with nails. Use everything at your disposal to cause him to forget prayer or more importantly to Whom he is praying. But I warn you, Baleswarm, be on your guard, for the reality may be that he turns to the Book. And this is simply unacceptable.

From your descriptions it seems unlikely that your Subject will give up the Book without a fight. You said yourself that he ‘submits to it’. Well, if you are to achieve this goal of your Subject’s ignorant subversion of the Enemy’s will then in this area you must be highly deceitful. However, deceit is a tricky business. In situations such as this we cannot simply cast our nets in full view, this is too obvious. No, we must seek to entangle him strand by strand and knot by knot, so that his hands are bound before he can loose his feet. In the Book the Enemy has clearly put forward His agenda. His will is clear for all to see. It seems highly unlikely that you will be able to get your Subject to doubt it, not yet at least, so begin to lay your strands by getting him riled up over the fringes. It really matters not which topic he enthralls himself with, just as long as it has nothing to do with the central menacing message about the Enemy’s Son. The more enamored he becomes with one small part of the Book the more likely he will invert the entirety of it. The danger is that nearly every part points, one way or another, to that horrible event of the Enemy’s Invasion and the Mission He accomplished, so make sure whatever pet project your Subject piddles with always points away from the confounding cross.

There is much more about this that I would like to share with you my dear nephew, but that would require getting into specifics. Take these general recommendations and apply them to your situation, and as this correspondence continues I shall assist you in tailoring the finer details that pertain to you and your Subject. As for now, time grows short (it ever grows shorter!) and I am needed for council in another matter. It appears that your brother Grimstone’s Man (a deacon) has his church in such upheaval that the ‘sheep’ will soon be scattered. Such delight!

Your Most Esteemed Uncle,