The Twistgum Letters: A Steady Diet of Shadows and Puddles

The following is the third in a series of letters written by Arch-demon Twistgum to his nephew Baleswarm. How these letters were obtained is unknown, however it is obvious that they were not intended to be read by human eyes. From the letters we can deduce that Baleswarm has been assigned to tempt, hinder and ruin a Worship Leader, a subject matter in which his Uncle Twistgum has many years of demonic experience.

Dear Baleswarm,

Music. That wretched weapon. Were you dealing with any other human Subject I would be quick to advise you to avoid it altogether. It’s too slippery. Even when it is in the hands of those outside the Enemy’s camp it somehow (in some blasted confoundable way!) is able to point back to the Enemy. Some call it beauty. I call it putrid. Too many demons have sought to wield it, allured by its power, thinking they might harness it for our cause, thinking they’ve succeeded by their efforts only to be thwarted by our cunning Enemy. But you, my dear Baleswarm, because of the office of your Subject, cannot help to avoid it. But thankfully for you, Music (in and of itself) will not need to be fully dealt with, as your subject deals almost exclusively in Song. There are few things more to be feared than Song in the Enemy’s hands and used expressly for his purposes. Therefore there are few things more effective to deceive the Enemy’s people than our use of Song. I’ve explained to you before that the best way to achieve our cause is to allow the Enemy’s people to think they are doing their Master’s will. And to that end, Song is ripe for the picking. Heed my advice and worry not about melodies or harmonies or singing ‘in tune’. For now, focus all of your attention on the words that are sung.

It is to your advantage, Baleswarm, to seek to remove as much of the Enemy’s truth from the lyrics as possible. To achieve this you must play an old, reliable card: Give the people what they want. You know as well as I do that humans, by their very nature, abhor the Enemy’s ‘truth’ almost as much as we do. It frightens them. It makes them uncomfortable. It is strange and foreign to them. And most of all it changes them. So it is imperative that you see to it that your Subject gives them what they want—Safety, Comfort, Familiarity.

See to it that he tends to choose songs that give only a partial picture of who the Enemy truly is and what the Enemy has really done. Bathe them with platitudes and generalities. Give them nothing of depth. Let them think the puddle is the ocean. Let them think the shadow is the substance. And all the while see to it that your Subject sees the results of his ‘success’! This will give him a wholly firm, yet false, confidence and assurance that his Master is pleased. If you are able to bring this about it will likely result in one of the following ways:

In the first scenario, your Subject will continue the splendid cycle of giving the people what they want, resulting in more ‘success’, and like a pied piper he will ever lead them further from the Enemy’s truth. Their theological course has been set. And now if any of the Enemy’s servants try to ‘right the ship’ we will find that our job to devour and destroy will become a mere spectator sport.

The second result we may see is that in light of this great ‘success’ your Subject will begin to feel the ‘weight’ of responsibility to keep both his Master and his congregation pleased. If it comes to this and if you have indeed heeded my council thus far by pressing Guilt upon him and remain vigilant in disrupting communication then we will find a most glorious result from this new ‘weight’. Your Subject will soon begin to think, whether consciously or ignorantly, that he is now the Mediator who stands between his Master and his congregation and that worship is now dependent on him. But of this I have much more to say and must address it in another letter. For now I am eager to hear more about your devilry. So I end this letter that I may speed our correspondence.

I close by reinforcing my prescription for both your Subject and the congregation through your Subject—A steady diet of shadows and puddles.

Your Most Worthy and Esteemed Uncle,

Twistgum

The Twistgum Letters: Ignorant Subversion of the Enemy’s Will

The following is the second of a series of letters written by Arch-demon Twistgum to his nephew Baleswarm. How these letters were obtained is unknown, however it is obvious that they were not intended to be read by human eyes. From the letters we can deduce that Baleswarm has been assigned to tempt, hinder and ruin a Worship Leader, a subject matter in which his Uncle Twistgum has many years of demonic experience.

Dear Baleswarm,

Regarding your man’s soul—this cannot be helped. He is held firm and fast in the clutches of the Enemy, never to be released. The goal therefore, is not to tempt him to ‘switch sides’ but rather push and prod him in such a way that he unwittingly undermines his Master. Get your Subject to mistake his will for his Master’s will. Once he supposes his own efforts and reasons are ‘righteous’ then we have him, for no topic or issue will be too inconsequential. Every molehill will be a mountain. If you can muddle his mind about whether it is ‘right’ or not to sing ‘this or that’ or if it is appropriate to play a certain instrument or any other matter of insignificance then your Subject will be well on his way to achieving our objective.

The best way to accomplish such marvelous devilry is to cut off all of his communication with his Commander. As you have no doubt learned at Minion Academy, Our Father Below is adamant about this. Aim your sights at the clearest channels; Prayer and the Book (that blasted indestructible Book). This will greatly increase your ability to influence your Subject to make decisions according to his own “wisdom”.

Regarding Prayer, it is the way in which our shrewd Foe has ‘opened the lines’ allowing his servants complete and free access into his very presence. Disrupt that communication. Dish out problems that he feels he can handle on his own, in his own power. For a time this will give him a tower of confidence but we know that this tower will soon fall and if the lines of communication have been successfully disrupted then your Subject has no where else to turn for help other than himself, which is for our ends quite satisfactory. It is good news indeed to hear that your Subject often falters in this area. Exploit it. Throw Guilt against him and fasten it with nails. Use everything at your disposal to cause him to forget prayer or more importantly to Whom he is praying. But I warn you, Baleswarm, be on your guard, for the reality may be that he turns to the Book. And this is simply unacceptable.

From your descriptions it seems unlikely that your Subject will give up the Book without a fight. You said yourself that he ‘submits to it’. Well, if you are to achieve this goal of your Subject’s ignorant subversion of the Enemy’s will then in this area you must be highly deceitful. However, deceit is a tricky business. In situations such as this we cannot simply cast our nets in full view, this is too obvious. No, we must seek to entangle him strand by strand and knot by knot, so that his hands are bound before he can loose his feet. In the Book the Enemy has clearly put forward His agenda. His will is clear for all to see. It seems highly unlikely that you will be able to get your Subject to doubt it, not yet at least, so begin to lay your strands by getting him riled up over the fringes. It really matters not which topic he enthralls himself with, just as long as it has nothing to do with the central menacing message about the Enemy’s Son. The more enamored he becomes with one small part of the Book the more likely he will invert the entirety of it. The danger is that nearly every part points, one way or another, to that horrible event of the Enemy’s Invasion and the Mission He accomplished, so make sure whatever pet project your Subject piddles with always points away from the confounding cross.

There is much more about this that I would like to share with you my dear nephew, but that would require getting into specifics. Take these general recommendations and apply them to your situation, and as this correspondence continues I shall assist you in tailoring the finer details that pertain to you and your Subject. As for now, time grows short (it ever grows shorter!) and I am needed for council in another matter. It appears that your brother Grimstone’s Man (a deacon) has his church in such upheaval that the ‘sheep’ will soon be scattered. Such delight!

Your Most Esteemed Uncle,

Twistgum

The Twistgum Letters: Baleswarm’s New Assignment

The following is the first of a series of letters written by Arch-demon Twistgum to his nephew Baleswarm. How these letters were obtained is unknown, however it is obvious that they were not intended to be read by human eyes. From the letters we can deduce that Baleswarm has been assigned to tempt, hinder and ruin a Worship Leader, a subject matter in which his Uncle Twistgum has many years of demonic experience.

Dear Baleswarm,

It is only natural that you have sought my advice; my experience in this matter far exceeds the training you received at Minion Academy. Although I don’t see why you have delayed in requesting such knowledge from your dear Uncle Twistgum, I suppose it is now neither here nor there.

The duty of oppressing a minister of the Enemy can be extremely taxing so I am pleased to hear that you are making inroads with your newest assignment. But I fear this early success has given you a false impression of the battle to come. The consistency of weekly gatherings (upon that most wretched of days) in which your subject leads the Enemy’s camp with the most abysmal, and yet most potent form of worship—Song—will no doubt severely hinder your efforts, causing you much frustration and agitation. And this is merely a byproduct. I dare say you have your work cut out for you if your subject approaches his duty with any sort of seriousness and devotion. Know this Baleswarm, though the task is great the rewards are even greater, for your subject is but the first in a long line of dominoes, cause him to fall and many will follow.

Your efforts in sowing the seed of Pride on account of his office are valiant but I fear it is rather a premature step. For the Enemy is a crafty tyrant who will allow your subject to fall exposing his Pride and will soon remedy the situation. So heed my advice and start with the man in a more subtle manner. Instead of Pride start with Guilt. Because the Enemy has qualified this man for such a position, rather than achieving it on his own, the groundwork is already laid for us. All you must do is continually point out his unworthiness of such a ‘high’ office (‘Worship Leader’ is such an arrogant title, is it not?). Amplify his sinful past. Leave abundant snares of temptation. Make sure those closest to him remind him of his faults. Once this foundation is laid it is vital for your subject to strive for worthiness in anything but what the Enemy has determined. Distract him with ‘good’ things. Rigid Attendance, Musical Excellence, Recognition, &c. It is important that you be ready with a new distraction, however small, for your subject will be restless in his search for worthiness. If all goes according to plan your subject will be driven to Pride, not because of his office (as you are attempting), but because of his efforts to validate himself as one worthy of such an office. His unceasing, unsatisfying search for worthiness will remain fruitless and, left to this course, will turn into despair. Suddenly his office becomes a thing to be despised. Misery and Depression will turn into Anger and Resentment. Oh, such joy!

At this point any number of wonderful things might happen. He may resign (good, though now he has less persuasion on other souls), or he may leave his current post for another (better, for we can now assist in building his new ministry on bitterness and disdain), or he may spread his infected influence on others under his care and fragment his congregation the same way a sledge hammer might fragment a window (best of all, for obvious reasons).

I look forward to hearing about your progress in this magnanimous endeavor and I implore you to give careful consideration regarding my instruction on this matter in our future correspondence.

Your Esteemed Uncle,

Twistgum