Monday, May 16, 2011

The Twistgum Letters: A Steady Diet of Shadows and Puddles

The following is the third in a series of letters written by Arch-demon Twistgum to his nephew Baleswarm. How these letters were obtained is unknown, however it is obvious that they were not intended to be read by human eyes. From the letters we can deduce that Baleswarm has been assigned to tempt, hinder and ruin a Worship Leader, a subject matter in which his Uncle Twistgum has many years of demonic experience.

Dear Baleswarm,

Music. That wretched weapon. Were you dealing with any other human Subject I would be quick to advise you to avoid it altogether. It’s too slippery. Even when it is in the hands of those outside the Enemy’s camp it somehow (in some blasted confoundable way!) is able to point back to the Enemy. Some call it beauty. I call it putrid. Too many demons have sought to wield it, allured by its power, thinking they might harness it for our cause, thinking they’ve succeeded by their efforts only to be thwarted by our cunning Enemy. But you, my dear Baleswarm, because of the office of your Subject, cannot help to avoid it. But thankfully for you, Music (in and of itself) will not need to be fully dealt with, as your subject deals almost exclusively in Song. There are few things more to be feared than Song in the Enemy’s hands and used expressly for his purposes. Therefore there are few things more effective to deceive the Enemy’s people than our use of Song. I’ve explained to you before that the best way to achieve our cause is to allow the Enemy’s people to think they are doing their Master’s will. And to that end, Song is ripe for the picking. Heed my advice and worry not about melodies or harmonies or singing ‘in tune’. For now, focus all of your attention on the words that are sung.

It is to your advantage, Baleswarm, to seek to remove as much of the Enemy’s truth from the lyrics as possible. To achieve this you must play an old, reliable card: Give the people what they want. You know as well as I do that humans, by their very nature, abhor the Enemy’s ‘truth’ almost as much as we do. It frightens them. It makes them uncomfortable. It is strange and foreign to them. And most of all it changes them. So it is imperative that you see to it that your Subject gives them what they want—Safety, Comfort, Familiarity.

See to it that he tends to choose songs that give only a partial picture of who the Enemy truly is and what the Enemy has really done. Bathe them with platitudes and generalities. Give them nothing of depth. Let them think the puddle is the ocean. Let them think the shadow is the substance. And all the while see to it that your Subject sees the results of his ‘success’! This will give him a wholly firm, yet false, confidence and assurance that his Master is pleased. If you are able to bring this about it will likely result in one of the following ways:

In the first scenario, your Subject will continue the splendid cycle of giving the people what they want, resulting in more ‘success’, and like a pied piper he will ever lead them further from the Enemy’s truth. Their theological course has been set. And now if any of the Enemy’s servants try to ‘right the ship’ we will find that our job to devour and destroy will become a mere spectator sport.

The second result we may see is that in light of this great ‘success’ your Subject will begin to feel the ‘weight’ of responsibility to keep both his Master and his congregation pleased. If it comes to this and if you have indeed heeded my council thus far by pressing Guilt upon him and remain vigilant in disrupting communication then we will find a most glorious result from this new ‘weight’. Your Subject will soon begin to think, whether consciously or ignorantly, that he is now the Mediator who stands between his Master and his congregation and that worship is now dependent on him. But of this I have much more to say and must address it in another letter. For now I am eager to hear more about your devilry. So I end this letter that I may speed our correspondence.

I close by reinforcing my prescription for both your Subject and the congregation through your Subject—A steady diet of shadows and puddles.

Your Most Worthy and Esteemed Uncle,


No comments:

Post a Comment